Fairfax, VA, USA. Surely you have been tempted by the call of a Bucket List. Perhaps you even made one for yourself, despite the fear it will become the proverbial bucket of spit.

They are the contemporary Cat’s Meow. So why not make one? I can be as truly intellectual as the next person, up to the challenge, consumed with thoughts about my impending mortality.


For those few of you who don’t have a clue (perhaps you spend all your time in RadFem discussion groups talking about those truly womanish things that only a select few women, the ones who have been given true wisdom, ever truly, truly know), a bucket list is

1. A 2007 comedy-drama film directed by Rob Reiner, written by Justin Zackham, and starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. The main plot follows two terminally ill men (portrayed by Nicholson and Freeman) on their road trip with a wish list of things to do before they kick the bucket.
   
   
2. Generically, a wish list of things to do before you "kick the bucket" (e.g., die).

When I started to write this column, I quickly realized that, advanced as I am in years, I could already cross off a long list of things from my bucket list that I have already seen, done, or completed.

• Buried Richard Nixon and seen Neil Armstrong land on the moon, both of which seemed improbable at one point.
  
  
• Obtained Sex Reassignment Surgery. This no longer seems so overwhelming, just over-expensive. My life continues, I am who I am.
  
  
• Graduated from college, got a Masters, got married, had kids, got divorced, fell in love and got married again.
  
  
• Seen the Rolling Stones, the Doors, Donovan, Animals, Dave Clark Five, Them, Jefferson Airplane, Peter, Paul and Mary, Simon and Garfunkel, Joel Grey in Cabaret, the Beach Boys at the Memorial Auditorium in Sacramento, the Santana rhythm section on the beach in San Francisco, Barbra Streisand, Madonna, Paul Simon, Bob Dylan, Rita Rivera in Kiss of the Spider Woman, Radiohead, Alanis Morissette, Timothy B. Schmit when he played with the New Breed at the California State Fair, the San Francisco Giants win the World Series, attended an Oakland A’s World Series Win.
  
  
• Wrote poetry, prose, and fiction, and had people read what I wrote, and ended and watched numerous wars.

Those are the ones I remember off-hand. I’m certain the list is longer. I’ve been doing things and seeing things for rather extended period at this point, travelled across country several times, seen all sorts of people, places and things. If I have missed you or yours, please do not be offended. A column is a finite place as is my time.

But, more importantly, there are some things I have yet to do.

• Attend the Beatles Re-union concert. Ok, this one will be difficult but I’m not scratching it off my list. You never know when John’s involved.
  
  
• Die. I admit that that is hanging out there some place, some time. I do not plan to be very accommodating to the concept. I will not go gently.
  
  
• Reach 120 years of age. This seems possible. My grandfather was 102 when he died. With luck, I will do better. Life and the Universe are far too interesting for me to withdraw. There is too much left to see, too many roads left for me take. I see no reason to surrender earlier than I have to. (Calculating quickly, there are 5000-6000 poems for me to write with at least one of them, possibly two or three, something you will remember and tell your grandchildren about.)
  
  
• Attend the Washington Nationals World Series Victory. This will soon be low hanging fruit. Strasberg, Gio, Zimmerman and the Kid, Go Nats!
  
  
• Legally Marry Sharon. This is close at hand. We have several states to choose from already. Of course, since Virginia is a common law state (a commonwealth, after all), we are also married here in Virginia, no matter what the current state government might degree. We would make an interesting court case (assuming the Supreme Court does not resolve the issue in the next few years.
  
  
• See a Manned Mars Landing. Hell, I would like to be part of it. If I had to bet, I would bet I can collect on this bet before I decide to leave this world.
  
  
• Witness permanent human colonies established on Mars and the Moon. This too seems possible, if not probable. All I have to do is live long enough and hope humanity doesn’t destroy itself in the meantime.
  
  
• End wars too numerous to mention. I don’t expect to stop them all, but less war would be rather helpful for children and other living things. The cynic in me says that I won’t achieve this item on my bucket list.

In a special category: I would like to see both the loud-mouthed RadFems and the Religious Right learn science (especially biology and neuroscience), logic, and internal consistency. Have Germaine Greer and her sisterhood ilk finish fading into the background and permanent irrelevance.

I would like to see lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transsexuals, and transgenders separate themselves from automatic knee jerk liberalism. Almost single minded association with a single party hinders our progress more than it helps by linking us to every lame- brain scheme the far left proposes. Queer is not a synonym for Democrat.

I would like to have a president who has served his or her country in the Armed Forces before serving as Commander-in Chief. The next one who has done so might likely be a woman.

Overall, there should be fewer Whiny Activists, the 1 percent who claim to speak for all of us. Few of them know how a democratic republic works, even less how business works. They’re the ripe rotting fruit of our college education system, full of fury and unproven theory. I don’t insist they go away, I just want them to quit whining.

And most of all, I want to live to see the re-establishment of the middle of the political spectrum (moderate left, middle, moderate right) where 99 percent of all Americans reside and our democracy lives. A pox on left progressives and the right social conservatives. We need to take back our country from the extremes.

Anyway, that’s my current bucket list, subject to change, of course. Yours will be different, I suspect, especially if you are an ill-educated cryptofascist passing yourself off as a RadFem.