Dedicated to the acceptance, medical treatment, & legal protection of individuals in the process of correcting the misalignment of their anatomical sex, & supporting their transition into society.
Springfield, VA, USA. It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. If you can’t laugh at yourself, perhaps you should seriously consider ERT (Ego Reduction Therapy). Urban myth has it that lesbians have no sense of humor. If so, what can be said of the transgendered community, those oh so deadly serious watchdogs of political correctness, lying in wait to pack attack should anyone dare not to give them the full metal respect they so loudly demand?
I’m not saying the HBS women are comic geniuses (although if you’ve ever heard post-ops talk about the perils of the #5 dildo …), but the transgenders, the men who are women, are down right prickly about it if you attempt to be humorous about their situation (then again, perhaps they see nothing humorous in life, consumed as they are with the seriousness of being who they say they are).
Springfield, VA, USA. Society (the women and men around us) has always been more comfortable if its members fall within certain known, established patterns: this is how we dress, this is what we say, this is w...
Springfield, VA, USA. On the last day of the court's term in the year twenty-oh-eight, the Supreme Court of the United States held that the Second Amendment [to the Constitution of the United States] protects ...
Springfield, VA, USA. Early in fetal development, before even a glimmer of genitalia, the central nervous system acquires its basic structure.
It is here, deep within the most complex structure ...
Springfield, VA, USA. Jesus wrote us the other day. At least I think it was Jesus (he works for the Family Research Council, doesn’t he?). [N1] He seems to have visited us quite frequently in the last few...
Springfield, VA, USA. As we all know, at least those of us who pretend to have a well rounded education, one who asks a question is a fool for five minutes, but one who does not ask a question remains a fool f...
Springfield, VA, USA. Every four years since 1788, the United States of America holds an election for its President — 2008 is no different [N1].
At the moment this written, there are two major c...
Springfield, VA, USA. Our initial problem in life is figuring out who we are and developing an identity that is unique (at least we like to think so).
Identity is our who connecting with the what — t...
Springfield, VA, USA. Well actually, he said Jewish science, but you get the idea – we’ve had our first anti-Semitic comment from a New York white guy (most likely) who spoofed a Mideast location and...
Springfield, VA, USA. In a democratic society – and everyone prefers a democratic society, don’t they? — many, if not most individuals will hold strong views on a multitude of different issues, personal views ...
Springfield, VA, USA. Every HBS man or woman begins their transition journey as a novice. Less than one one thousandth percent of the entire Human Species, from Lucy to the child born as you read this, ha...
After being away on business, the transgender thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.
Flipping his hair back out of his face, he asked the girl behind the cosmetics counter
How about some perfume?
She showed him a bottle costing $50.00, spraying a sample on his wrist.
That's a bit much.
said the transgender.
The girl returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.
That's still quite a bit, more than I’m willing to invest in this,
the transgender complained.
Growing annoyed, the girl brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.
What I mean,
said the transgender,
is I'd like to see something really cheap.
The girl handed him a mirror.
On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.
One transgender in particular loses it. Screaming, he stands up in the front of the plane.
I'm too young to die!
he wails.
Then he yells,
Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! No one has ever made me really feel like a real woman, not even my wife. Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??
For a moment there is silence. everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate transgender in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane.
I can make you feel like a woman,
he says.
Then this tall, tanned and well muscled guy with jet black eyes starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time.
No one moves. No one says a word.
As this man approaches, the transgender begins to get excited.
The man removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches the excited transgender.
The smell of all that testosterone fills the cabin. The man extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling transgender, and whispers:
Iron this.
A judge was interviewing a transgender regarding his pending divorce and asked,
What are the grounds for your divorce?
The transgender replied,
About four acres and a nice little home with a 72 inch HD screen and the NFL Season Ticket.
No,
the Judge said,
I mean what is the foundation of this case?
MAC Studio Fix Powder Plus in four, carefully layered shades,
the Transgender responded.
I mean,
The judge continued,
What are your relations like?
The transgender thought for a moment,
When I’m dressed or when I am in boy clothes?
The judge asked,
Do you have a real grudge?
No,
the transgender replied,
We both have walk in closets and a rooms of our own and have never really needed one.
Please,
the judge tried again,
is there any infidelity in your marriage?
Yes, both my son and daughter have iPODS. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your question is yes.
Does your wife ever beat you up?
Yes,
the trangender responded,
about twice a week she gets up earlier than I do.
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked,
Just answer this question: why do you want a divorce?
Oh, I don't want a divorce,
the transgender replied.
I've never wanted a divorce. My wife does. She says she can't communicate with me!
Transgenders Are Like …
Transgenders are like mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Transgenders are like government bonds.
By the time they finally mature, they aren’t worth much for anything.
Transgenders are like copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.
Transgenders are like lava lamps.
Fun to look at, but not very bright.
Transgenders are like curling irons.
They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.
There were 11 people hanging on to a single rope that suspended them from a helicopter trying to bring them to safety. Ten were transgenders; one was a post-op HBS woman.
They all decided that one person would have to let go because if they didn't, the rope would break and all of them would die.
No one could decide who it should be. Finally the HBS woman gave a really touching speech, saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving things up for their husbands and children and giving in to men.
All of the transgenders started clapping.
One transgender was on a ladder nailing. Each time he reached into his nail pouch and pulled out a nail, he'd look at it, and either toss it over his shoulder or proceed to nail it into the wood.
The other transgender watched for a while, puzzled. Then he couldn't stand it any longer and yelled up,
Why are you throwing some of the nails away?
The first transgender explained,
When I pull it out of my nail pouch, if it's pointed toward me I throw it away. If it's pointed toward the house, then I can use it safely!
The second transgender got very frustrated at this and started to call him all kinds of names. He explained,
Don't throw away the nails that are pointed toward you! They're for the other side of the house!
I am sorry if have not been funny. I’m not a comedian. I am Lisa Jain.
One last thing.
When you go out there tonight, remember this: transgenders are like dogs – no matter what you do, they keep coming back.
<rim shot> and slow fade to black.
Ms. Lisa Jain Thompson is the Co-Founder & President of TS-Si, Inc. She also serves as a Contributing Editor and columnist for the TS-Si website. Ms. Thompson's signed articles contain her own opinions and do not necessarily convey an official position of TS-Si, its partners, or affiliates.
Lisa welcomes your comments. You can use the public form below or send private correspondence via her TS-Si Contact Page. We will not divulge any personal details or place you on a mailing list without your permission.
Richard Smith, Editor-in-Chief, introduces Cases Journal. Dr. Smith urges all physicians to submit their case reports to the new open access Cases Journal, which publishes case reports from any area of healthcare.
Cases Journal will publish any case report that is understandable, ethical, authentic, and includes all essential information. A more selective companion, the Journal of Medical Case Reports, publishes original and interesting case reports that contribute significantly to medical knowledge. Article submissions are subject to potential publication by either journal. All reports will be entered in a common and open access database.
Ms. Lisa Jain Thompson
Subscribe to this comment's feed
Show/Hide comments
Show/Hide comment form
Copyright © 2005-2008 TS-Si, Inc. • Except where noted, this site is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 2.5 License. • Some rights reserved. • TS-Si is a nonprofit organization dedicated to the acceptance, medical treatment, & legal protection of individuals in the process of correcting the misalignment of their anatomical sex, & supporting their transition into society.