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Transgender is Transsexuality (As Described By Lenny Bruce) Print E-mail
Opinion - Global Warning
Lisa Jain Thompson   
Saturday, 23 February 2008 19:00
Lisa Jain Thompson
Global Warning: Lisa Jain Thompson
Springfield, VA, USA. Transgender is like a ride in an amusement park. If you board the ride, you think it's real because that's the way our minds work. The ride goes up and down and round and round with thrills and chills beneath brightly colored lights that flash on and off and on and off. Some people have been on the ride for a very, very long time and never question "Is this real, or is this just a ride?" Transgenders can understand everything except people who don't understand them.
Question: Do you now or have you ever been actively engaged in anything gay?
 
Answer: No sir, I have not. Not even in Boy Scouts or summer camp.
 
Question: Do you like women?
 
Answer: Yes sir, I do. Very much so.
 
Question: Do you enjoy having sex with women?
 
Answer: Well there was this one in Duluth …
 
Question: Answer the question, do you like to make love to women?
 
Answer: Yes sir, very much sir.
 
Question: Do you enjoy wearing women's clothing?
 
Answer: Sometimes.
 
Question: And when is that?
 
Answer: When they fit.
Transgenderism is just one big phone company with an extra closet full of clothes. No matter who you talk to, or how many different transgenders you meet, nothing ever changes. It's like voice mail. You never get an answer to your question. No matter how many buttons you push, it's always the same friggin song and dance: my way, or the highway. They haven't had an original idea or tried anything new since Moses tied his ass to a tree.
 
And whatever you do, don't ever ask them if they would like to rearrange the furniture. They like their furniture just the way it is.
 
If something about the human body disgusts you, I would think you would complain to the manufacturer and then go see a surgeon. The transgenders prefer to whine about how unfair life is, especially to them.
 
Of course life is unfair. Fair only happens on television. If Jesus had been transgendered, Catholic school children would be wearing lipstick cases around their necks now instead of crosses. Complaining that life is unfair is the intellectual equivalent of jerking off.
Johnny?
 
Yes, Ma.
 
What are doing in the bathroom for so long?
 
Nothing, Ma.
Either do something about it or get off the pot and there had better not be any sticky crud left on the computer keys again.
 
The only thing that could possibly be worse than a transgendered person is a liberal one drunk on the kool-aid. Liberals will buy anything a transgender writes because they think it screws up the conservatives and whatever screws up the conservatives must be good for America.
 
A liberal would never think to ask
Is that a man in a dress?
because they are too busy making excuses for everyone's bad behavior.
Drunken Celebrity?
 
Send them to rehab and have them make a public apology.
 
Drug Addicted Starlet?
 
Send them to rehab and promise them a staring role in a new film.
 
Crack Whore on the street?
 
Tell them they are empowered and send them to rehab
 
Man in a dress in the women's restroom?
 
You got a problem with that? If you do, I'll send you to rehab.
And I'm tired of all this liberal bonding and backslapping: 
Isn't transgender neat!
It's like a viral video in designer heels.
 
The transgender philosophy – and transgender has a philosophy in same way that George W. Bush has a philosophy -- has a built-in defense system: anything or anyone that questions a transgender belief, no matter how logical the argument may be, is declared the product of the white heterosexual patriarchy that is trying to oppress them. They have nothing new to offer and there is nothing sadder than an old transgender sitting before a mirror.
What are you going to do about those wrinkles?
 
Put on more make-up and a prettier dress.
 
You'll never pass, darling.
 
I'll go to a dark, poorly lit bar.
 
Someone from work might recognize you.
 
Screw it. I'll just stay home and jerk off in the bathroom.
 
What will your mother say?
 
I'm not doing nothing, Ma.
Once you've seen one crossdresser in the basement, there's nothing much left to do except move on. There's nothing new, nothing earth shaking, and if you return the next day or a month from now to check on them, they'll still be in the basement.
 
Crossdressers are like dogs that keep coming back looking for approval. You can't get rid of them. No matter what you say or do, they keep coming back asking for your blessing like you were their parent or something.
Do you like this dress?
 
How does my make-up look? Do you think it's enough?
 
Are my silicon breasts too big?
 
Please like me.
HBS, on the other hand, Harry Benjamin men and women, are like cats. Yell at an HBS man or woman one time, just one time
You forgot your earrings.
and they're gone. Out the door. They don't need this crap.
 
And never, NEVER, say anything if an HBS woman asks
Does this dress make me look fat?
If a crossdresser asks the same question, you can answer, of course, 'cause if you do say yes, they'll just ask you to tighten their corset a few notches or more.
 
You know, if crossdressers could blow themselves, they would never ever leave their rooms. Never. The bars would be empty, public bathrooms would be segregated by male and female, and all the girls on the street would always have vaginas and no hidden surprises.
 

 
Author's note. Much thanks to
 
Lenny Bruce (1925–1966) and William Melvin "Bill" Hicks (1961–1994).
 
Lenny Bruce (1925–1966) and William Melvin
 
 
Ms. Lisa Jain ThompsonMs. Lisa Jain Thompson is the Co-Founder & President of TS-Si, Inc. She also serves as a Contributing Editor and columnist for the TS-Si website. Ms. Thompson's signed articles contain her own opinions and do not necessarily convey an official position of TS-Si, its partners, or affiliates.
 
Lisa welcomes your comments. You can use the public form below or send private correspondence via her TS-Si Contact Page. We will not divulge any personal details or place you on a mailing list without your permission.
 
 

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Last Updated on Saturday, 23 February 2008 16:57