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| Running With The Pack: Young Men, Testosterone, And Acting Out |
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| Opinion - Global Warning | |||
| Lisa Jain Thompson | |||
| Saturday, 16 February 2008 19:00 | |||
 Lawrence King Comments From The Blogs
The internet blogers got busy when news got out that Lawrence King had been murdered. It might have been another easily dismissed death — a problem in and of itself — except for who King was and how he died. One can only hope that the larger lessons are learned — and acted upon — before it is too late.
1. That poor child, he seemed to suffer so much in his short life. I am torn up by this. This is where hatred of gay children leads. Stop the hate!
2. Sad all around. But King's parents share some of this blame for letting their child go to school dressed in drag. If he's mature enough to have an understanding of his sexuality, fine. However, his parents should have looked out for their child's well being and not allowed him to dress that like in an environment where the majority of kids don't understand sexuality, let alone their own sexuality.
3. The "Blame Game". The SCHOOL caused this to happen OR RELIGION (your church or pastor) caused this OR the PARENTS caused this OR FIREARMS are the cause OR the TEACHERS are to blame OR GLOBAL WARMING may be to blame OR maybe it was the DOG that told him to do it. This is all known as the "Blame Game" and everyone is falling in line to get a chance to BLAME it on their favorite BAD GUY — be it parents, school, gun, religion, our Country - the list goes on and on. One fact will remain the same: One child killed another child and both deserve our prayers. BLAME can be worked out later.
4. My prayers go out to the King family for their loss. The suspect needs to face the repercussions, but why did the school district allow King to wear high-heeled boots, makeup, jewelry and painted nails. Of course that's going to freak people out, offend other students, and steer up angry behavior in other students. Yes we need to respect each other but when gays start forcing their orientation on other people I can see the frustration it may cause. The school district will allow someone to express their sexual orientation freely but if a student or a group of students carry a Bible or pray together it is forbidden.
5. Everyone who agrees that crimes like these are sensless must take a stand against biased based bullying & harassment in our schools and communities. It doesn't matter what you think about homosexuals and gender variant people-the violence must stop! You can be tolerant without being accepting. Teach your children that WE ALL deserve to live our lives as we choose as long as we don't hurt others. King hurt no one...he was just being true to himself. A brave boy who's life was cut off by hate-senseless hate. Please educate yourselves and your children before you lose someone you love-either as victim or as perpetrator.
6. There still are dress codes, and there is NOTHING wrong with a boy wearing feminine attire. allowing gender binary rules about attire is unacceptable. if anyone has a problem with it, that's their problem, not the boy wearing the clothes.
7. We can hardly be shocked with these kinds of assaults taking place when we live in a society that tells us discrimination is acceptable because of the religious beliefs of a few. We are being two-faced to preach one thing and act shocked at the repercussions that ensue. Until there is a clear message sent to everyone in society that acceptance is the expectation — in the workplace, in schools, in the military, in our religious temples, in government and in our personal lives, we will continue to see the face of hatred and fear manifest itself again and again.
8. If a kid wants to be gay it's his/her right, but for crying out loud, STAY IN THE CLOSET. I don't want to see it and I don't want my kids exposed to it. Yes, I agree with LUKESILVER and Skip: what about the parents? I'm talking about parents who would let their son go to school with make-up and nail polish on, wearing high-heeled boots. I feel sorry for both boys and their families, but we all make our own choices. Let's stop blaming society for our own blunders.
9. I don't know where to begin there's so much wrong here. The sexual permisiveness, the sexual confustion, the violence, the bullying, the humanistic methods and platitudes, the hate, the blame game, liberal open mindedness to anything goes, the bigotry … the corruption and decay of culture around us is just staggering in it's craziness. Everybody pointing the finger everywhere except at themselves. It's the Fall.
10. Everybody knows that in school when somebody acts way out of the norm, they will draw negative attention to themselves. Way to go! to the radical homosexuals who enjoy advocating shoving their "lifestyle" in regular peoples faces. The childs blood is also on your hands. Dont tell me that you are surprised that this happened and dont tell me about your rights. Sure a girl has the right to walk through a bad neighborhood at night in a bikini, but dont feign horror when she is assaulted.
— Compiled by TS-Si.org editors  Lawrence King’s offense, the one for which his assailant was judge and jury? He wore high heels, make-up, finger nail polish, and jewelry to school and told people he was gay. For this offence, King was shot in the head early Tuesday in a classroom full of students at E.O. Green Junior High School. As was pointed out by one of his male classmates (age 13), King
The suspect shot King at least twice at the beginning of the school day and then fled the campus. He was apprehended a few blocks away and, in all probability, will be charged as an adult under California State Law.
Police have not determined a motive in the slaying but said it appeared to stem from a personal dispute between King and the suspect. Several students, however, said that the assault was a result of an argument over King’s sexual orientation: that he wore feminine clothing and make-up, and proclaimed he was gay.
The day before the shooting, King and several boys had some kind of altercation during the lunch period. The school's staff was aware that King was having problems fitting in with the other students, including the suspect, and had offered both students help.
King’s concerns. King’s issues. Not the assailant’s.
The assailant was described as a calm, smart student who played on the basketball team. He wasn’t the type of kid who would murder someone. He was just one of many middle school boys.
Both the assailant and his family have declared that they are terribly sad to learn [King] is brain-dead. The assailant’s attorney, Brian Vogel, has said that the assailant and the boy's family were also hurting.
Student Averi Laskey, 13, said she had known King since grammar school and liked him. She said that only in the last two weeks had he begun dressing in a feminine manner.
Laskey said she also knew the assailant and had shared an English honors class with him.
Those are the facts of the case at this point of time:
From the boys' point of view, King obviously bears the major portion of the blame for his own death: he violated the rules of the pack. From the girls' point of view, they don’t understand how this could have happened.
The pressure of the pack, the shear weight of societal expectations of what it means to be male without providing men and boys a clear means to be so, distorts the efforts of young males to come to terms with who they are and how they should act. When all else fails, the rules of the pack override all other concerns.
Much of this is on instinctive level where testosterone influences neurobiology and brain structure. Most of this is an unconscious part of young and adult male behavior patterns.
Boys and men who violate the rules are ostracized from the boys club. They are loners who must strike out on their own without the protection of being an accepted member of the pack.
Most conflicts within a group of males are not severe. Behavior may appear severe to outsiders (ritualistic threats and posturing, shouting and minor fights), but most problems are resolved peaceably within the rules of the pack. Rarely does the dominant male have his authority seriously challenged.
Each and every member of the pack is constantly watchful that the rules are being followed. If a member strays from the accepted rules or directly confronts them, the pack will persecute the offender until order is restored.
In his way, Lawrence King challenged the rules of the pack and the authority of a male who was at least more dominant than King. He threatened the fragile stability of adolescent boys struggling to come to terms with being male.
Conflict was probably inevitable, the violent outcome was not. It is the responsibility of the adult community, who seemingly should know better, to place restraints on adolescent behavior, especially the tendency of boys to run in a pack.
To that extent the school is at fault for being too passive and not becoming actively involved in what was an obvious growing conflict. But schools run in packs also, influenced by parents, politics, and religious beliefs, and most would rather not become publicly involved with gay adolescents.
Few people have been fired for failure to act; many have come under fire for “backing special rights for the gay community” and promoting “aberrant sexual behavior and perversion.”
To that extent, society as a whole is at fault, for being more concerned about the political power structure and the religious rights of conservative believers than the rights and life of one gay student. Society continues to express its horror (and its feigned surprise) but does little to resolve the basic issues.
Much of the anger and hatred exhibited against gay men is the result of male pack behavior: the outsider, the boy who does not conform to the rules, the boy who is different is the enemy and must be either brought into the pack or eliminated. Society calls this
To that extent, the assailant's parents are at fault for allowing a child to grow up resentful of someone who is gay. Behavior exhibited at school is also exhibited at home around the dinner table. Hatred and homophobia start in the interactions between parent and child and may be reinforced by religious beliefs and indoctrination.
To that extent, all of the parents of all the students are at fault for allowing (and sometimes encouraging) the behavior of the pack to act against outsiders. If we allow boys to be unbridled boys, if we encourage them to live isolated from the adult world around them, if we do not give them living role models for acceptable male behavior, if we glorify violence as the best means to resolve our differences, we cannot then pretend innocent separation from dysfunctional male pack behavior and absolve ourselves of guilt.
To that extent, the parents of Lawrence King are at fault for pretending that we live in an ideal world, free of hate and bigotry, for not preparing their gay child for life in that world, for not warning him of the possible consequences of his actions. If you are going to live outside the law of the pack, you have to be honest.
Although an ideal world may separate cause and effect, life does not.
Someone needed to make sure Lawrence King knew the risks he was running by appearing to be different from everyone else. We needed to make sure that he had the social skills to live the life he wanted to live. It is one thing to say everyone has the right to dress and live anyway they may wish. In an ideal world this would be true. But Lawrence King lived in a world of adolescent boys, where the pack rules and non-conformity is punished by social ostracization, where gay behavior may be met with religious damnation and physical confrontation.
Lawrence King was not killed by a gun. He was killed by parents and a society that allows homophobia and encourages the distrust of outsiders (non-Christians, communists, Arabs, Hispanic emigrants), a society that allows boys to be boys and then turns its collective head.
Lawrence King’s only fault was that he forgot that he was a boy running with a pack of other boys. For that, they took his life.
Note. The suspect in this case has been charged as an adult this week with first-degree murder with the special allegation of a hate crime. Since the suspect is a minor child, TS-Si.org will not identify the person by name pending conclusion of all applicable court proceedings.
 Ms. Lisa Jain Thompson is the Co-Founder & President of TS-Si, Inc. She also serves as a Contributing Editor and columnist for the TS-Si website. Ms. Thompson's signed articles contain her own opinions and do not necessarily convey an official position of TS-Si, its partners, or affiliates.Lisa welcomes your comments. You can use the public form below or send private correspondence via her TS-Si Contact Page. We will not divulge any personal details or place you on a mailing list without your permission.                       Add this page to your favorite social bookmarking websites. To create link towards this article on your website, copy and paste the text below in your page. Preview :
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| Last Updated on Saturday, 23 February 2008 14:53 |
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